Animal.

I cant stand knowing that you suffer. are suffering.

Its a loss. a total loss. I dont know where my logic is going. but its holding me steady, telling me, its alright.

is it alright? why do you talk to me that way? why do you tell me? why did you tell me anything? why did we choose to come close, knowing better?

i have always been cautious.. there just never has been anything worth going all the way for.. But you were right. you could understand. you had trust that if i put my mind to it nothing could stand in my way. and you were absolutely right. nothing could.. nothing can.

its me. i stood in our way. and i am so guilty.. for thinking.. for not helping this anymore than i could, standing in their sphere of acceptance. i am sorry, for not burning my bridges. i am sorry, for not giving my all, i am sorry, for not choosing you. i am sorry i was, i am, so confused.

and i have this self.. hatred. like one i have not felt for years now. i feel like an animal. i feel like i fed on your emotions without any conscience. no, fed on OUR feelings, without thinking. i knew better. i knew better..

i am your culprit.