:(

i saw her room. every inch of it was covered by cards or posters or stickers or cuttings.. some memory, some words, left by friends or she herself.. two of the greatest people there to sort it out.. and then there was me.

i met her mom. such an awesome person. and maria.. shes great.. friendly, nice, confident. and faras.. my nicest friend faras.. and then me.. with my freak tendencies.. :( i am sorry.. thank you for letting me in..

i felt like i was intruding but i wanted to know her. i wanted to know.. i did not think of privacy. i couldnot register it at moments and when it did i thought of hasty retreats. i am abnormal. i am so abnormal it hurts.

then i was crying though i tried very very hard not to. i tried so hard so they wont know. cz they werent. but then faras saw. i am so sorry :( i am so stupid. i just couldnot stop thinking how she left so many memories for everyone.. and they let me get this close to her.. and she.. she had books that looked like she made them with the intent of leaving behind some sign that she was there.. she left cards, letters.. her wall :( signatures.. random lines.. words.. i couldnt. help.